


el futero

by evelyn_rose4



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Coaches, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, set in 2030
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2020-10-13 14:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20583938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evelyn_rose4/pseuds/evelyn_rose4
Summary: "what's a soulmate?""it's like a best friend, but more. it's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. it's someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don't make you a better person...you do that yourself because they inspire you. a soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. it's the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. and no matter what happens..you'll always love them"yuzuru hanyu and javier fernandez on their journey back to each other.





	1. prologue.

Javi had retired. 

Yuzu didn’t know what the future would hold for their friendship if he could call it that. It still felt odd training at the rink and the Spanish flag being there but not the one who was the reason behind it being there.

He missed hearing the accent ringing through the corridors, he missed hearing the Spanish curses from the other end of the rink when a session wasn’t going too well, he missed the comforting pats on his back when he needed the support. He missed a lot more than he thought he was going to miss. 

Yuzu hadn’t realised how important Javi’s presence was to him until he didn’t feel it every day. It had shocked him too how much was suddenly missing the day that Brian came back from the European Championships and Javi hadn’t been with him. 

It felt unsettling to be training for the World Championships without Javi by his side to encourage him and push him to be his best self. It felt unsettling knowing that Javi wouldn’t be there to tease Brian with him or watch him do his quadruple salchow and give him tips on how to improve it. 

That jump had given him so much over the years. It was one of the main reasons he moved to Toronto, to learn that jump and make it a weapon. It had continued to push and pull with him, some days it was perfect, not a flaw in sight but other days everything was off, and he harshly fell onto the ice. 

The quadruple salchow was a good metaphor for his relationship with Javi. Some days they were so close, that everything was perfect and Javi would look at him in a way that made him forget he had a girlfriend. Then on other days, they were so distant Yuzu couldn’t even work out if they were friends or enemies because everything was so tense and strained. 

Despite the conflicting emotions, Javi made him feel every day, Yuzu knew that when he said goodbye to him for the last time as a competitive skater, there would be a hole that was unable to be filled. 

Yuzu had no idea what their future would hold, but he knew that he would respect Javi forever. He would always admire the man who taught him that you can be rivals but has the utmost respect for one another and not let having the same dreams get between a necessary friendship. 

Javi had retired and Yuzu didn’t know what that meant for them, but the memories of their time together would help him through everything he does.


	2. i.

“No Shoda, please get off. If I see you fall on one more quad loop, I will drag you off the ice myself,” Yuzu shouted across the rink when he noticed his 19-year-old pupil set up for the jump he’d been falling on all afternoon. 

Life was supposed to be a lot less stressful when competing every month wasn’t involved but becoming a coach hadn’t been calm either. 

He had retired in 2022 after winning his 3rd gold medal and decided that although there was more he could probably do, it was his time to step back. For a couple of years, he had focused on shows and touring, basking in the glory of being a 3-time Olympic gold medallist but he knew he didn’t want to do that for the rest of his life. 

He’d given small seminars throughout his career but when he’d retired, he started to do a lot more and given Brian a hand for a couple of summers. It was only when Brian had pointed out he made a great coach that he started seriously considering becoming one full time. 

He knew he needed a lot more training though. For two or so more years he moved back to Toronto and learnt everything he needed to know from Brian and Tracy. He learnt about the need for developing a school rather than believing he could do everything by himself. He’d expressed that thought to Brian, and it was suggested to him that he get back in contact with Jason Brown, who had also expressed the same desire in coaching but didn’t know how to move on with it. 

When he and Jason established that they would be a good team, they worked together to iron out the details. 

Originally, they thought their school would be best based in Tokyo, but after struggling to find a rink, Yuzu knew he could rely on Sendai finding a place for him. Jason quickly agreed to move countries as he had always dreamed of living in Japan full time, but he did want to make sure that Yuzu was interested in keeping things international because moving countries for skating had changed both of their lives for the better and wanted to continue to give all countries the same opportunity. This was important to Yuzu too, so he quickly agreed. 

Once they laid down the frameworks, both of them got to work using their connections to make their dream happen. Yuzu ensured that they had a rink to base their school in, he always had some strings to pull in Sendai, so they were more than happy to guarantee a rink for their use. Jason used his people skills to find jump and spin specialists who were happy to join their team. 

After the basics were confirmed, Yuzu officially started looking for skaters to join his school. He started locally, asking other local coaches if they recommend any particular skaters. He had known these coaches for a long time and knew that they were always looking for new opportunities for their skaters, as Nanami had for him when she suggested he move to Brian. 

Through this method, he had met Shoda. The 15-year-old had attended a lot of his seminars in the past, so he recognised him immediately when his coach had set up a meeting between the two. Shoda reminded him a lot of his past self throughout that initial conversation, he wanted to push himself technically because he thought that was what he needed most but had a lot of basics to control first. 

When he showed Jason his skates from the prior Junior Grand Prix season, the sentiment was shared that there was potential there, but he needed more help to reign everything in. They asked their other specialists for opinions and once there was a shared consensus that Shoda would be benefited by their team, they officially signed him on as their first pupil. 

The first year could only be described as chaotic. Shoda had decided to stay in juniors so they could manage the change without having to deal with the pressure of senior events. Though he was a junior, Shoda still wanted to start learning much harder jumps compared to sticking with the triple axel and quad toe which Yuzu knew was the best idea. This conflict of interest caused the two to butt heads fairly often, with Jason having to step in as a mediator. 

They had eventually come to a middle ground where Yuzu would allow him to start working on a quad salchow if Shoda promised he wouldn’t push for it to be tried in the competition until it was ready so he could focus on improving his skating skills and performance aspects. When they found this common ground, their relationship went from strength to strength. Yuzu knew when he was tired or when he could be pushed to continue and Shoda finally trusted Yuzu enough to tell him everything concerning his skating. 

Needless to say, although their relationship only got better, there were still a lot of issues with his camp. Yuzu had naively thought that he would be able to attend competitions and the attention not taken off Shoda, however, this was not the case. After one mob too many, they decided that for the near future, Jason would be the one to attend the smaller competitions so that Shoda could be allowed to focus the best he could. There were also a couple of issues with ensuring that costumes were always sent with the skater which always led to some last-minute shipping chaos and the one time that Shoda managed to forget his skates. 

When he told Brian about these issues over the phone, he had laughed and said it reminded him of Javi. This brought back fond memories of the many times Javi had forgotten his costumes and everyone had had to run around frantically for him to find replacements if his originals couldn’t get to him in time. From then on, Yuzu made sure to ring Shoda every night before he was due to leave for a competition to make sure he packed everything.

Shoda finished his season with a 5th place at the Junior World Championships, which was a result to be celebrated so the entire team went out for dinner to celebrate. There they laughed and talked about anecdotes of the season and what the future could look like. 

Shoda asked if he could stay in juniors for another year despite the pressure from his federation to move up to seniors and Yuzu readily agreed, knowing that he could have a real shot at getting some junior titles if he continued. Yuzu also asked Shoda if he would mind another skater joining them. 

Since Yuzu had gone public about his school, the rise in interest for his teaching had come naturally. He had seen a wave of inquiries from people all around the world, but he knew he couldn’t take everyone in although he wanted to. However, he had noticed a 16-year-old British boy who seemed to have extreme potential but needed a lot more guidance to place higher than he was. 

He subtly approached his coach and started up a conversation about him and learnt that James was the national champion and won by a country mile at his last domestic competition, but his country lacked the resources to push his career further. Yuzu had never understood what it was like to compete for a smaller federation with a lack of world-class coaches and funding. He slipped his coach a business card with his number adorned on and sooner than he thought a meeting was set up to discuss the details.

So, for the next season, Yuzu had two young juniors to manage. James was chaotic in his own right but a lot more willing to listen than Shoda was at the start, however very shy. Besides talking to Yuzu or Jason or the other coaches, he didn’t discuss anything with Shoda, and this was concerning. 

Yuzu had always been keen on developing a skating school where every athlete that trained with him could learn from each other, not just the coaches. Wanting to learn from Javi was one of the main reasons he moved halfway across the world and it was the best decision he ever made. Instead of just learning how to stabilise the quad salchow, he learnt the importance of friendship and healthy rivalry. Yuzu felt like that was a part of making him the best athlete he ever could be. 

So, in the nicest way he could do it, Shoda and James were pushed to talk. He’d get them to discuss their training sessions albeit confusion as neither of them spoke the other’s language, so Yuzu had to act as a translator. Thankfully, these meetings finally paid off as the boys became best friends and the definition of great sportsmanship. 

When Shoda received gold at the next Junior World Championships and James only a handful of points behind him in silver, Yuzu may have cried a little because he realised that it was working. He was doing a good job. 

Fast forward 3 years and life couldn’t be better. 

He had his bunch of mischievous skaters which he adored, a great rink and some amazing other coaches. However, there was always this niggling feeling that something in his life was missing but he wasn’t too bothered about it and chose to ignore it. 

He didn’t figure it out until he was accompanying Kana to her first senior Grand Prix event. 

“Yuzu, my knee aches,” Kana alerted him when she got off the ice from her practice session. Her recent injuries still causing a little bit of bother. 

“OK, we’ll ice it and re-tape it back up when we get back to the hotel. I’ll ring your physio as well to see what she suggests. Don’t worry about it too much,” Yuzu reassured as he patted her head and gave her back her tissue box. 

“Should we reconsider my layout?” Kana asked. 

“Let’s not think about that yet, if it’s still aching tomorrow, we’ll talk about it, OK?” 

“OK.”

Kana leaned in for a small hug, as she often did, and Yuzu was halfway through returning the hug before a voice rang out. 

“Yuzuru?” 

Yuzu looked up and tried his very hardest not to gasp. 

"Javi?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the first chapter of this work!  
i got this idea a while ago but my motivation to write comes and goes a lot so it's taken me a whileeee to get the first chapter written. i am going into my second year of university so i can't promise that there'll be regular updates but i'm going to try my hardest.  
i hope you enjoy!


	3. ii.

It had always been Javi’s goal to be a coach when he retired from competitive skating. That was no secret. He spent 2 years after retiring trying to sort out the beginnings behind closed doors but as soon as he had a school set up, he started publicly looking for skaters. 

Firstly, he started working with Donovan Carrillo alongside his usual coach. He’d always kept an eye on Donovan because the younger reminded him of himself and he knew that he would have taken any help he could get to further his passion. Donovan spent half his time between Spain and Mexico, and he brought so much joy to Javi’s life that he didn’t know he needed. 

Donovan had taught him so much about what it means to genuinely love everything you do and not give your heart to anything you can’t invest yourself in. The boy loved skating with all of his heart, but he’d had to give so much up to fulfil that love. He’d witnessed the younger crying about his family more times than he could count on his fingers and it broke him every single time. 

Donovan’s lesson about love had come to its head when his long-time girlfriend left him. 

“I don’t understand why you’re leaving me. We’ve been together for 5 years; I’m going to marry you?” Javi pleaded whilst Maria packed her bags.

“Javi, we both know you’re settling for me. Neither of us knows what you want and I’m not going to be strung along until you figure out it isn’t me. That’s not fair on me,” She argued back, shutting her suitcase with a slam.

“But I do want you?!” Javi regretted raising his voice as soon as the words left his lips. 

“Then why don’t you ever spend time with me anymore? When was the last time we went out on a date, spent the night talking, had sex?! All you have time for anymore is skating?” She shouted back, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“The school needs setting up, I’m the one running it. Also, it’s my passion, you know that!” 

“But I should be your passion too.”

This quiet statement she made with tears adorning her face caused Javi to take a step back. 

He remembered what Donovan had told him, if you can’t invest yourself into something then don’t put your heart into it. He had never put his heart into Maria. Not fully at least. 

So, she left, and he cried for the whole night. 

It wasn’t really because she left him, but more because he realised that he was 30 and he wasn’t married, he wasn’t anywhere near having kids and didn’t even have a girlfriend anymore. For the first time in longer than he could remember, he was alone and didn’t know how to deal with it. 

In the months that followed, Javi learnt a lot about himself. He learnt that the reason he had never been able to keep a girlfriend was that he only wanted one to fulfil the societal need to be coupled up. He had never focused truly on himself and his passions wholeheartedly so that’s what he decided to do. 

From that moment on, Javi thrived. His skating school went from strength to strength, he could accept more skaters now he had recruited more coaches. He finally felt like he had formed his own little family and filled the gap that not having a girlfriend left. 

This is what led him to accompany Mina to her second Grand Prix event of the season, one that she had a strong chance of winning. 

Mina had struggled to make a name for herself among the deep field of Japanese ladies, never qualifying for the national team, despite being close. However, a breakout challenger series thanks to the input of a triple axel and performance refinements had put her in good stead to finally break that chain. A silver at her first Grand Prix event didn’t hurt too. 

The 20-year-old was a true social butterfly, similar to Javi so seeing her flutter around the venue in France greeting everyone in sight made his heart warm. Her English was extremely proficient, so she was able to talk to pretty much everyone without much of a language barrier, but it was when she started speaking rapid-fire Japanese, the cogs in Javi’s head started turning. 

Of course, he knew that Yuzu had started coaching. It had been some gossip in the world of skating. However, he didn’t want to seem akin to a stalker so hadn’t done much research in terms of who he was coaching and where they would be competing. 

Yuzu and Javi hadn’t had much if any contact since Yuzu retired 8 years ago. Javi had considered reaching out but had kept putting it off and then it just became too long. He started to write messages and then realised that he didn’t even know what to say or whether this was even the right number. So, he left it. 

He did know that there was only one other Japanese lady competing at this event though. He and Mina had been going through the entries list, picking it apart, like usual and Mina had got excited because one of her old friends was competing. 

It only took looking at Kana’s ISU profile to see her coaches name and an unnamed feeling took over Javi’s body. He would see Yuzu. There was no chance of them not bumping into each other. 

He got so worked up about it that every single time he heard Japanese; he’d start preparing himself for the inevitable awkward interaction that would follow. But when the time came, he was so distracted preparing for Mina’s practice that the sudden onslaught of the language took him by surprise. 

He looked up, past the excited girls and saw an extremely familiar face. 

“Yuzuru?” He exclaimed, mouth falling open in shock. 

“Javi?” Was the reply, the mispronunciation of the ‘V’ sound still familiar? 

For a few seconds, they just stood there and looked at each other, taking in the new yet familiar sight. 

Yuzu, of course, had not aged. The man blessed with a face that seems to get younger over time and despite his body filling out a little since retiring, he still looked amazing (Javi wondered if Yuzu saw him the same way). He still had a tissue box underneath his arm however not the usual Winnie the Pooh one instead of a Piglet one. 

After the initial shock had worn off, they approached each other with open arms. They embraced quickly yet tightly. When Javi pulled back, he saw nothing but a smile on Yuzu’s face. 

“We should catch up later!” Yuzu suggested, wary of the fact that Mina had a practice extremely soon and that Kana needed to rest. 

“Please! I’ll text you my hotel room number?” Javi responded. 

“My number hasn’t changed so you should still have the right one,” Yuzu told him. This made Javi feel like an idiot because half of the reason he hadn’t reached out to Yuzu was that he figured the other must’ve changed his number, but that wasn’t the case. 

“I’ll text you in a bit then!” Javi smiled, trying to mask how overwhelming all these new feelings were. 

Yuzu ushered Kana back to his side and gave her the tissue box, sympathetic to breaking up the conversation between the girls. “Good luck with your practice!” He said in Japanese to Mina who thanked him with a bow.

“I’ll see you later,” He said to Javi with a fleeting touch to his shoulder before walking backstage with his skater.

It took Javi a few seconds to realise that Mina was tugging on his arm. 

“Come on! The practice is about to start!” 

So, he shook it off. He shook off the surprise of seeing an old face and remembered the reason why he was here. 

To coach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh i'm sorry this is taking me so long! the time i have to sit down and write is very little and i'm only a few weeks into university (im in second year) and i'm already drowning in reading and assessments. 
> 
> here's a little background into javi's life since he retired, i promise the plot starts soon. 
> 
> thank you for reading :)


	4. iii.

Time was ticking by at an alarming rate, Yuzu had noticed. 

Once Kana had rested and he was happy she was ready for the short program the next day, he left her with her family and went back to his hotel room. He and Javi had arranged to meet in a couple of hours so he had some time to work out what the hell they were going to discuss and how he felt about it. 

The first hurdle came when he started to get dressed after his shower. Should he just show up in sweats and an old hoodie, similar to what he wore when they used to hang out back in Toronto? Or was it more an occasion where they would meet in the room and then go down to the bar for a drink and he should wear a button-down? 

The unknowns surrounding the nature of his and Javi’s friendship was the most complicated thing that had happened to Yuzu in a long time. He wasn’t the type of person who had ever bothered too much about what to wear but somehow Javi always had this effect on him. 

After wandering around wearing nothing but a towel for a stupid amount of time, Yuzu decided to meet in the middle and go for jeans with a comfy V-neck shirt, plain and simple. His phone then rang with the notification he had set specifically for Jason, who only really texted him about coaching business which was usually fairly important. 

He then spent a very long time catching up with Jason who filled him in with all the mishaps and celebrations of the past couple of days with a Yuzu-less skating school. This included Shoda continuing to bang on about a quad loop despite his inability to land a fully rotated one and Sakura deciding that she was going to try a quad axel to follow in Yuzu’s footsteps and whilst this melted his heart a little, it was too dangerous for a 15 year old to attempt. 

Before he knew it, the time to meet Javi had arrived and Yuzu hadn’t felt this nervous in a long time. This was Javi, his once best friend who he shouldn’t be nervous to see but for some reason he was. He knew Javi’s room was a couple of floors up from his so to be on time, (he got skittish whenever he wasn’t, a habit formed since Brian was rather nit-picky about them being on time to training) he set off. 

It was an agonising wait for an elevator and then for the elevator to get to the right floor and then find the right door amongst the never-ending corridor of hotel room doors. After he found the correct door, he took a deep breath before knocking. 

He didn’t even get through his habitual three knocks before the door was opened and he was greeted by a warm smile. 

“Yuzu! Come in!” The Spanish accent was hard to ignore but the tone was the same bright one that had greeted him throughout the years. 

Yuzu smiled in return before shuffling himself into the (rather large) room. He slid his shoes off before taking up Javi’s gesture of moving to the table in the centre of the room. 

“How did you get this big of a hotel room?” Yuzu questioned, as his room was considerably smaller. 

“Coaching reputation I guess, I didn’t ask for it I just turned up and here it was,” Javi responded from the small kitchenette, probably gathering some drinks. 

“Fair enough, this is only my second season as a coach for seniors, maybe I’ll expect this next year?” Yuzu said with a joking lilt, clearly not bothered but taking a joke whilst he can. 

“I think it’s time I got the bigger hotel room after years spent being jealous of your bigger rooms when we were competing,” Javi retaliated whilst bringing over some glasses and some food. 

Yuzu laughed along and took the glass of wine he was offered and tentatively sipped on it. He’d been drinking alcohol since he became a coach after discovering that although his skin was allergic to it, his liver wasn’t. It tasted nice, a little sharp for his taste but pleasant, nonetheless. 

“I’m glad you got to open your school, I know that was always your dream,” Yuzu said, lightly putting his glass back onto the coaster on the table, showing Javi his sincerity through his eyes. 

“Thank you. It was really hard work, but I got there in the end. Lost a lot along the way but I’m happy now and that’s all that matters,” Javi said with a reminiscent smile. 

At that moment, all Yuzu could think about was how happy he was for his friend. His friend who had come from such a different background and fought such different battles from him but they’d both ended up happy in the end. 

“Are you still with Maria?” Yuzu questioned, so out of the loop with Javi’s life that he could be married, and he’d have no idea. 

“Oh, no,” Javi scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “We broke up years ago, I wasn’t putting enough effort into keeping the relationship alive, so she ended it. I haven’t been with anyone since because I’ve decided to put everything into the school. How about you? Anybody special?” 

Yuzu laughed. “No. You know me, not one for relationships. I’ve dated around a little, but I never found the right person. They were either using me for my name or just not right. Better off focusing on my career.”

“You’ve always done that though. You’re 35, shouldn’t you be thinking about it?” Javi remarked. 

“You’re 39 though. You aren’t married or a parent or anything either, why should I be the only one thinking about it?” Yuzu retaliated back, a little perplexed. 

“I’m guessing that you won’t be playing that much of a role in your school? Aren’t you just the face of it?” 

Yuzu’s grasp tightened on the stem of the wine glass. He couldn’t believe that he had to fight this assumption from the one person who at one point in time understood him better than anyone else. 

“You guessed wrong. I am the Brian of my school,” Yuzu’s lips set in a firm line. 

“Well no offence Yuzu, but you didn’t have to work hard for a lot of things when you were skating. So, when I heard that you’d become a coach I just assumed that like everything else, everyone else did all the work for you but you got to claim all the credit?” Javi said with a nonchalant shrug. 

“What the fuck Javi?” Yuzu’s voice became raised without him realising it. “You should know that I never got anything handed to me? I had to work so hard for absolutely everything, I would have never achieved anything in my career if I didn’t work my ass off for it? The same goes for my coaching career.”

“But you had so much done for you. You had a manager to sort out every little detail and a choice from so many sponsorships you never had to worry about not having enough money to get your blades sharpened! And then all of a sudden you decide you want to become a coach and I bet everyone else ran around to make sure that happened?” 

Yuzu hadn’t expected his first conversation with Javi to turn out like this – a full-blown screaming match. 

“No! I had to run around chasing up so many people to make sure I could even use the rink the following day because I didn’t have any permanent students, and everyone thought I was just a gimmick. I had to work so hard for other coaches to take me seriously so they could consider sending anyone to me. None of that was easy.” 

“But wouldn’t they want to go to you so they could get a shot at the ‘coaching bonus’ that being coached by a three-time gold medallist would do?” Javi sneered, seemingly unaware a massive line had been crossed. 

Yuzu stood up, no longer holding back the anger that he had been holding back to keep up some level of politeness. 

“How dare you suggest that? Coaching bonus might have been a thing when we were around, but things have been sorted and kids are marked fairly for what they put out on the ice. My kids work so hard and train tirelessly to get scored the way they deserve, and I never thought you’d be the person who would suggest that they are rewarded unnecessarily. I never thought you’d fall to that level.”

Yuzu knew that Javi had realised he’d fucked up. He’d fallen silent and was chewing on his lip (a habit he did whenever he knew he’d made someone angry and didn’t know how to cope with it). Yuzu knew that the next thing to come out of Javi’s mouth would be some sort of apology, but for the first time, he didn’t want to hear it. 

“I don’t know what’s changed in you since you retired but I don’t like it. The Javi I knew would never suggest being as nasty to think that people’s motives are that bad. I don’t like this new ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude you’ve picked up.”

Yuzu started gathering his stuff, ready to leave. All he wanted to do was get into his pyjamas and sleep a very stressful night off. Javi was chuckling though.

“Your English got so much better. Where the hell did you even learn that phrase from?” 

“Jason,” Yuzu snapped back, too drained to deal with humour. “Who can tell you about all the hard work we had to put in to get the club to where it is now. At least he isn’t close-minded like you.”

“Yuzu, please. I’m sorry I just wanted a nice chat-,” Javi started to apologise. 

“So, did I. But then I realised that you’ve changed and maybe I don’t want to ‘chat’ with this Javi. I feel like I don’t know who you are anymore.” 

Then Yuzu left. 

He left the man who he thought would never misunderstand him or belittle him. He thought that he and Javi would always be there for each other and always support each other but it turned out that time changes everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this universe, scoring and judging and the isu have sorted their shit out and everyone's scores are fair. i'm not even going to try and open that can of worms in this fic. enjoy! x


	5. iv.

Yuzu spent the rest of his evening fuming. After pacing around his room for a little too long, he rang the one person he could think of to complain. 

“Shoma, I just don’t understand why he would say all that shit?” The decibel of his voice increasing with the anger. 

“I don’t understand either but I’m trying to keep my hearing so please stop shouting down the phone,” Shoma said, with some level of exasperation but some level of sympathy. 

“Sorry,” Yuzu let out a long sigh. “It just really hurts that someone who once knew me inside out thinks something like that. Plus, it just makes me sad that he changed.”

“I know, but I think you need to do what you do best,” 

“What?” 

“You’re Yuzuru Hanyu, you prove everyone wrong countless times. When you were competing, there were so many occasions where everyone thought you were done for and your time was up but every single time you came back out there and shut them all up. Just do that with Javi. Give every single bit of energy you have into coaching and doing your best for those kids because they deserve it.” 

Yuzu giggled down the phone. “Wow, getting married helped your counselling skills,”   
“Shut up. Being painfully single has made you overdramatic.”

“But seriously, thank you Shoma. I’m going to try to get some sleep before the short program tomorrow,” Yuzu said, flopping onto his bed. 

“You’re welcome. I’ll leave you to sleep.”

The phone call ended, and Yuzu took a deep breath before heading for the shower. He took a long shower, letting the water wash over him whilst his thoughts consumed him. He kept going back to what Shoma said about him being ‘painfully single’. 

It was a well-known fact about him that he didn’t care much about dating. Whilst he was competing, he’d only managed to hold down a couple of girlfriends before swearing off dating for the rest of his career. 

Post-retirement and following the discovery of his bisexuality, he thought he would find the love of his life but that seemed more difficult. There came the issue with his sexuality in Japan, but he couldn’t even find a proper relationship with a woman. After a multitude of failed relationships with both men and women, he swore off it again. 

He had everything he could ever need. A great skating school, still doing the thing he loves most in the world, amazing friends and the best family. He didn’t need to be in a relationship to find happiness.

However, part of him knew that one day when he was old and couldn’t skate anymore and none of his kids needed him anymore, he’d regret not at least trying to find someone to grow old with. Before he drifted off to sleep, he thought of how he could attempt to date when he’d never tried to find a long-term relationship before. 

** 

Yuzu’s morning had gone by in a blur. Sleeping in and then nearly missing breakfast before meeting Kana and heading to the rink so she could get warmed up. She only had one little breakdown when she thought she’d forgotten the hairpiece she wears but once it was found at the bottom of her suitcase, she calmed down. 

Kana reminded him so much of himself in her pre-competition self. She kept to herself and had her headphones in at all times (although didn’t seem to care that much about the quality of her earphones like Yuzu did) and only took them out to discuss something with Yuzu. 

She had to be very specific about her warm-ups due to her knee injury that liked to pop up again at inconvenient moments. However, she went through all the motions today with no issues, including a stellar practice with no falls whatsoever. 

Before she was due to go on for her warmup, she spotted Mina and ran over to wish her compatriot ‘good luck’. This was a sentiment Yuzu adored as he drilled it into his kids that no matter what, you are nice to everyone you compete with because there’s no point being a poor sport. 

However, along with Mina came Javi. Yuzu just stood back and let the girls talk as to be honest, he didn’t want to distract Kana by her being made aware that there was suddenly a problem between her coach and a skater she idolised.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Javi looking at him, trying to catch his gaze. He was too angry to even consider looking his way though, especially as he should know better than to try now to patch things up with Yuzu. 

Both Mina and Kana were then called to rink-side for their warmup. It made Yuzu smile that the girls parted with a small hug and a motivational gesture, even though Javi seemed to have lost his sense of sportsmanship there was still some memory of it being taught at his school. 

“Yuzu, I’m nervous,” Kana said in a small voice as they walked towards the rink.

“That’s completely understandable but you’re ready. You have all the skills; you have everything you need. Trust yourself,” Yuzu reminded her, rubbing her shoulders affectionately. 

Kana didn’t reply with words but instead a shaky smile. She gripped her tissue box tighter and took deep breaths as they reached the rink. As she handed her skate guards over, Yuzu saw a look in her eyes very similar to his own. He smiled back at her; she was ready. 

Her warmup was just as good as her practice session, clean jumps, clean spins and ease he had never seen out of her. Kana had been struggling because of her knee and had finally got her triple axel back and with a new sense of comfort, he’d never seen her do it with before. 

Yuzu was always careful in letting his skaters try harder jumps, making sure that they were doing it for the right reasons. When James had finished off the podium at the latest World Championships, he had started training in the summer determined to put in a Quad Lutz but since his Lutz edge had never been the best, Yuzu had managed to talk him out of it. He’d won both of his Grand-Prix events without it after all. 

Yuzu knew that Kana had a slim chance of winning the event, tipped to finish second to Mina who had more experience in the senior field and a program component’s advantage. However, if she skated like he knew she could, she would end up on the podium. 

After the warmup finished, they went backstage, and he watched her stay focused and determined. She was going to do something special and he could sense it. 

And she did. 

She skated an incredible short program, the best he’d ever seen her skate in a competition. That was why he was so happy he had become a coach because the feeling of joy when his kids were happy couldn’t be compared to anything else. 

“Yuzu! I did it! I did it!” She squealed happily as she stepped off the ice and straight into his arms. 

“You certainly did! That was incredible!” He exclaimed whilst hugging her tightly. 

Once they stepped into the Kiss and Cry with tissue boxes and flowers, they watched the repeats with excited chatter. Yuzu pointed out that her spins looked incredible and that Jason would be proud of her and she practically glowed with happiness as ever since her injury her spins had been a little shaky. 

When the score was announced and she’d earned a new personal best, they both screamed in excitement as the supportive crowd roared behind her. Yuzu was so proud that he might have had some tears welling up but tried to hide them, this was for Kana, not him. 

Although, when he passed Javi who was with Mina waiting for her turn to skate and both of the girls were out of earshot he finally let out a few tears. 

“You think I don’t care about my skaters?” 

Then he left, leaving Javi with the guiltiest expression possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry that this has taken me so long to update. i got incredibly busy at uni and life and then completely lost my motivation to write but i am going to claw back the motivation by putting this chapter up so that i have no pre-written chapters to fall back to and am forced to write... idk maybe it will work. i hope you enjoy this chapter and leave any comments and kudos because it really does act as a motivation to write! x


	6. v

For the rest of the competition, Yuzu did everything he could to avoid Javi. If he saw the familiar brown eyes then he immediately looked the other way, despite the other’s attempts. He knew that they needed to discuss the issue however, they were adults and this could not carry on. 

After 5 more phone rants to Shoma and Jason and plenty of arguments won in the shower, he knew that he would have to approach Javi to talk before everyone flew back to their respective countries. 

Kana had fortunately not realised anything was wrong, as they walked down to the room where a lot of the skaters and their coaches were having an unofficial banquet. She was talking his ear off about how excited she was for her next competition, what she thinks her likelihood of making the final is and where she should put her new shiny silver medal. 

Something that had alleviated the stress of Javi’s newfound opinions was seeing how in her element Kana was. She had never felt so comfortable in a competition, despite a pop in the free skate, she had still done enough to place comfortably second, behind a stellar Mina. She hadn’t lucked out with her allocations of events, they were travelling to her second event the following week, but they didn’t have to travel far seeing as it was in Japan. 

It was in the back of his mind that Mina had won two golds on the circuit and was going to the final, and because James and Shoda had already qualified and Aleksandra had qualified for the Junior final, there was no chance they would not run into each other again. Kana was highly likely to make the final also, he knew that this bad energy could not carry on to future competitions, he could not let it affect his skaters. 

Halfway through the ‘banquet’, Yuzu took a deep breath and left Kana to talk to her teammates and he approached Javi. 

“Hey, Javi, can I talk to you?” He asked, awkwardly placing a hand on Javi’s shoulder to get his attention. 

Javi seemed surprised, but also relieved. “Yeah sure, do you want to go up to my room?” Yuzu agreed and followed him, praying that this was not a repeat of the last time this happened. 

Neither of them said a word as they took the lift up to Javi’s floor, entered the room and took off their coats. Yuzu stood awkwardly, knowing that he had to say the first word but he had no idea what to say. 

Javi shuffled between his feet and coughed before saying, “I’m sorry about what I said, it came out completely wrong.”

“How does inferring that I haven’t had to work for anything my entire coaching career come out wrong, Javi?” Yuzu asked, his voice lacking the fire it had in their previous conversation, rather a softness in his tone. 

“I don’t even know. I’m just sorry. It’s been such a long time Yuzuru,” Javi sighed, leaning on the couch behind him. 

“That’s not an excuse, please don’t make excuses,” Yuzu moved next to him. “It was just so shit to hear all of that come from you, I heard it from so many people. So many people thought that I wasn’t serious or that I didn’t have any credibility. It’s funny how you think winning 3 Olympic gold medals will guarantee you credibility in the sport you’ve dedicated your entire life to, but that’s still not enough for some people.” 

The way Javi was looking at him was intense, too intense. Those once familiar brown eyes were so distant now, they didn’t know who he was or what he had fought through to get here and had instead carelessly made assumptions. Assumptions that he would have never made in the past. In the past, he would have taken care to ask Yuzu about the full story before he had his thoughts. 

“I understand that there were certain privileges that I always had access to, but I had to work my ass off to get those privileges as well. Javi, no one thought I would be a decent coach. Everyone thought you would be a good coach, you were offered seminars wherever you went, I had to work so hard to get any work.” Yuzu looked back into those eyes. “Everyone just wanted to use me for their commercials and to promote their shows and nobody, including my management, wanted to listen to what I wanted to do. It was a really hard time, Javi.”

All of a sudden, a hand laid on top of his. “Brian was the only person who listened to me. When it all got too much for me in Japan, he was the one who offered to give me some regular seminars in Toronto,” Yuzu chuckled. “I think he just wanted me to get out of Japan because it was too much for me immediately after my retirement, but he knew I wouldn’t come back if there wasn’t a purpose.”

“Brian saved me, he was the only person to believe in me and what I wanted to do in those first two years after I retired. Once I believed in myself, everything was easier but nothing came to me as you said. Jason and I had to prove ourselves to so many people that what we were going to do was successful. We initially wanted to train kids in Tokyo but after every single rink rejected us, it had to be in Sendai. That turned out to be fate though because now I can’t imagine doing it anywhere else. I love what I do, seeing those kids happy is just worth every single bad thing that’s happened.”

The grip on his hand tightened, almost in guilt. “I don’t know how to show you I feel so ridiculously guilty right now. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed, but I guess the damage is done now,” Javi said. 

“You were the one person who I thought would never suggest that but I guess time changes us all. I wanted to talk to you for so many years and I never thought this would be how you would act around me now.” Yuzu sighed. “I guess you’ve changed.”

“Don’t be stupid of course I haven’t changed, it’s me. I’m Javi, I say dumb shit and need correcting, I just said something dumb,” Javi turned to look him dead in the eyes, begging for some kind of forgiveness. 

“No. You’d never said dumb shit to me, ever. I can’t be friends with this new Javi, I know I’m overreacting but I can’t put myself through this,” Yuzu said, moving his hand away. 

“Why?” The pain in Javi’s voice was striking, shocking, he was hurt. 

Yuzu closed his eyes, he didn’t want to see the pain he had caused, he knew he would break if he did. “I’ve loved you for so long, I’ve loved this idea of you that I created in my head and it hurts to know you weren’t that idea and I can’t be around you because it all hurts so much.” 

“What do you mean you’ve loved me? I had absolutely no idea?” Javi sounded like he was near to tears, Yuzu scrunched his eyes tighter together. 

“Of fucking course I loved you. You were absolutely everything to me, you made me feel safe and like there wasn’t all this shit going on around me all the time and when I finally let go of all that, you’ve been the only person to bring it back and that hurts so fucking much,” Yuzu finally opened his eyes, the tears freely falling. 

Javi was taken aback, his mouth opening and closing akin to a fish. Yuzu could see the thoughts swimming around his brain, trying to look for the right words to say but there weren’t the right words. There was nothing Javi could say that could make it hurt any less. 

“Goodbye, Javi. I thought we could be friends after all these years but apparently not. I think it’s just better to pretend these past few days didn’t happen.”

With that parting statement, Yuzu turned on his heels and left the room. He left without looking back because he knew he couldn’t face the damage he had caused to a relationship that had been so important to him. 

He ran back to his hotel room, closed the door, slid to the ground and cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in one week? who am i? the motivation to write is back with me and i think i know where i want this to go now so fingers crossed this is the start of some more regular updates but i can't promise that especially once uni starts to get more intense again (oh to be in the second year and my grades count towards my overall degree). thank you so much for all the love on this story, it means a lot🥺 x


	7. vi.

After returning from France, everybody noticed that Yuzu was acting not like himself, but whenever it was questioned they got a look that told them never to bring it up again. 

He threw himself into designing coaching plans and strategies for the Grand Prix Final. Often, he would stay later at the rink than anybody else and sit in his office trying not to fall apart. He needed a break but this was his job, his life, so he would push through it. 

He knew his kids and all of them had been skating better than they ever had before in the run-up to the Olympics. James had the assurance that he did not have to fight for a spot on the team as he could not compete at Nationals whereas Shoda and Kana were not given the same assurance from the Japanese Federation. This had affected how both of them were preparing for the final, neither of them wanting to exhaust themselves out of an Olympic spot. 

Unfortunately, with better skating, came more stress. Shoda felt like he was getting too comfortable with his jump layout and had begged Yuzu to let him push himself technically, but knew deep down that he could not afford the risk. James was worried that his lack of consistency was affecting his scores and Kana was so nervous she was all over the place. 

Yuzu was halfway through an email to the Japanese Federation inquiring about flight times for the kids when a knock on the door startled him. “You shouldn’t still be in here,” Jason said, leaning against the door frame, jacket and hat on, clearly ready to go home. 

“It’s a week before we leave for the final, there’s a lot to do,” Yuzu said, unable to tear his eyes away from the screen. He heard Jason scoff before footsteps approached his desk. “Hey, give that back,” He exclaimed as his laptop was rudely taken from him. 

Jason pressed on the trackpad a multitude of times before shutting the laptop and placing it on the stand on the desk. He then reached behind and grabbed Yuzu’s belongings off and held them with an expectant look. 

“I was halfway through an email to the JSF about their flights to the US -,” Yuzu started to protest. 

“It’s 8pm, no one would get back to you anyway! It can wait! Let’s go for a drink!” Jason shushed him, ignoring the further protests that Yuzu exclaimed whilst he put on his coat, hat and scarf and walked down the corridor as they left and locked up the rink. 

Yuzu continued to protest until they were outside the bar they frequent at but unable to think of a good enough reason why he should continue his walk home instead of attempting to drink his sorrows away. 

Once the pair had ordered their drinks and got comfy sat down at a table, Jason wasted no time in trying to get to the bottom of Yuzu’s never-ending bad mood. 

“What on earth is going on with you?” Yuzu nearly spluttered his drink across the table, surprised at Jason’s more direct way of questioning him. “What did you think nobody noticed? Surprised I asked? The whole reason you’re here is that you need to let this out to somebody before you implode and I think I’m your best friend so please tell me?” 

Yuzu rolled his eyes and put down the drink before any more unexpected questions could result in him losing any more of the expensive cocktail he ordered. “Nothing is going on with me. There’s nothing to notice. I’m surprised because nothing is going on. Yes, you’re my best friend, who the fuck else do I drink with?” 

Jason didn’t need to say anything. All he needed to do was sip his similarly overpriced cocktail and lift one eyebrow and Yuzu knew he wasn’t going to be allowed home until he lifted the lid on his grumpy demeanour. 

“Fine. But no gossiping with everybody else, I know what you’re like,” Yuzu huffed, watching as Jason mimed zipping his lips shut then leant forwards on his elbows, ready to hear the story. 

“I told Javi that I loved him,” Yuzu all but mumbled. 

“You did what?!” Jason shouted, drawing the attention of almost the entire bar.

“Shush, I don’t want everybody listening in?” Yuzu hissed. Jason mumbled an apology before repeating himself, but quieter. 

“You did what? How did it go? Did you end up sleeping together?” 

“Do you think I’d be this miserable if that had happened?” Yuzu gave him a deadpan look. 

“Good point. Continue.”

“It was when I went round to sort things out after he implied that I didn’t work for anything. I told him that I couldn’t be friends with him anymore, or be friends again, I don’t know. He asked why and I was so emotional I told him it was because I loved him.”  
“What did he say?” 

“Well, I didn’t really give him the chance to say anything. I left. I didn’t want to hear him let me down slowly and kindly because that would have just hurt more. I was already coming to terms with him not being the person I thought he was anymore I didn’t need to be rejected on top of that.”

“Do you think that he loved you back? Or loves you?” 

“No. I don’t think so,” Yuzu said, the first time even admitting to himself that his fantasy was never a reality, and never would be. “Plus, he’s never shown any sign of being anything but straight.” He chuckled sadly. 

“Unfortunately, that’s something to consider. Casanova has always dated girls. He’s probably got through half of Japan, Spain and Canada’s female population by now.”

The mention of Javi’s many relationships made Yuzu laugh. He gulped the rest of his drink down, in some desperate attempt to numb the feelings that had suddenly sprouted - ones he had tried so hard to keep down. 

“It hurt and it was something I didn’t even want to think about. I had ‘got over’ him since his retirement but there was always a little bit of me that thought we were soulmates and that when the time was right, we’d be together.” 

“But now you can actually move on. Maybe that was always the reason that your relationships didn’t work out? You were always waiting for someone that wasn’t yours?” Yuzu rolled his eyes at Jason’s romantic comedy line. 

“That’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said, but you’re right. I think it’s time to really move on from Javier Fernandez.”

Jason cheered at that statement and signalled for two more drinks to be delivered to their table. “Can I finally set you up with people? I have so many great friends!” He begged, his hands forming a pleading gesture across the table. 

Yuzu thought it through for a moment. Jason was extremely sociable, more than he had ever been. He had many friends, both male and female that he showed Yuzu pictures of regularly and he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t find any of them attractive. However, he was busy, busier than he had ever been and didn’t want to be distracted from his job. 

“Promise me you won’t get too carried away and it’ll distract me from work? We still have kids that need a lot of support, especially as the season goes on.” Yuzu held out his pinky across the table, a habit he had formed with Jason early on. Neither of them strayed from that kind of promise. 

“Yes, I promise,” Jason linked his pinky with Yuzus. “But you also have to promise to not fall in love with me. It seems you like falling in love with your best friends.”

Yuzu could not roll his eyes further back into his head if he tried, undoing his pinky from Jason’s and slapping his hand. “I couldn’t fall in love with you even if I wanted to. You’re too upbeat for me, I’d need like 10 breaks from you a day.”

“I could never date you. You’re far too intense, I’d never ever want to piss you off in case you kicked me out of the country, which I’m sure is a string you could pull,” Jason shuddered, as he picked up his drink and held it up. 

“Cheers to me being your wingman and you finally getting into a relationship with someone you actually like?” 

“Cheers. Although I did like everyone I’ve dated -,” Yuzu started before the daggers Jason sent his way stopped him from defending himself. “Yeah, you’re right, I didn’t.”

They clinked their glasses together before spending the rest of the night going through which of Jason’s friends Yuzu thought he best suited and gradually getting more drunk and giddy. 

When Jason left to go to the toilet after scribbling a name and a phone number on a napkin for Yuzu, he fiddled with it. It felt like a weight off his shoulders to realise why nothing had ever worked out for him before and he was excited, excited to move on and fall in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i have no excuse. i'm really trying to get back any sort of motivation seeing as my country is on lockdown and now i have actual time to do things but it's hard. pls point out any continuation errors and I'll correct them because I've realised it's harder to remember what you've written when you haven't touched the story in a while! hope you enjoy and I'll see you at the next update, whenever that ends up being! x


End file.
